Why is it so hard to walk the walk sometimes?

Have you ever asked yourself or experienced this? We’re going along in our walk; everything is fine, wonderful even. And then somehow at some point, we realize that we’ve strayed. We’re in a place or situation that is not where we want to be. We ask ourselves “how did I get here? I know better than this.” Has this ever happened to you? It has to me. But how does this happen? Why does it happen?

Why it happens is a simple answer friend. Because we are flesh. We may want to over complicate it with all kinds of “reasons” or explanations. A bad childhood, a stressful job, hard marriage, rebellious kids; the list can go on. But really, truly, it is because we are man.
And this is a condition of the flesh.

The apostle Paul wrote:

“For the flesh has desires against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you may not do what you want.” (Gal 5:17)

This doesn’t mean to say, however, that it’s hopeless or that we should just give in to the ways of the flesh. It just answers the question of why. And that’s important because we spend much of our time struggling with just this question. I know I’ve probably spent an enormous amount of time on wondering ‘why I did x’ or ‘why I didn’t do y’. But no matter how many things we can come up with and try to fix, we’ll still come down to the fact that we ‘fall’ in our walk because we are human; we are flesh & the flesh is weak. And there is nothing we can do to change that. However we shouldn’t want to change our humanness. God created us in His image so we should be happy with the creations that we are. But God also gave us a mind and a spirit that can claim victory over these challenges and give us the strength to change!


Now that we know why it happens, I’m going to give some common ways how this can easily happen and then finally some ways to avoid this in your future. I pray these will help you in your walk as they have me.



1-People Pleasing

Are you a people pleaser? Going along with the crowd even when you know it’s not the Godly thing? You hear comments like “Everybody does it.” Or “It’s no big deal,” or others similar things and you cave. Here is an example of how we can get tripped up because we’re people pleasers.
Say you are at work and there’s a group of your co-workers talking. You’re even good friends with some of them. They start gossiping about a fellow worker or they start to criticize you boss. Maybe you even agree with them in your head but are not getting involved directly in the conversation. Finally, eventually someone elicits your opinion. For some unexplained reason (flesh!) you take the bait. Before you know it, you’re gossiping.
Mind you, gossip is a national pastime in this country thanks to the media pushing it constantly. We are flooded with shows that say they’re about the entertainment industry but are loaded with “celebrity” gossip. Sometimes you even hear this on the nightly news! It’s very easy to get caught up in it. But I urge you; don’t take the enemy’s bait! Because that’s what it is. Don’t serve the enemy. He’s got enough “soldiers”!

For those of us (me too) who are sometimes people pleasers remember: stay focused on your walk with the Lord. And understand one undeniable fact. Pleasing both God & man is hard sometimes but is impossible to do all the time. Be OK with the fact that sometimes “man” is not going to be happy with you because of your choices for God.
Memorize this scripture from the apostle Paul:

“If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave to Christ.” (Gal 1:10)

This helps me to be OK about not pleasing people all the time.


2-Face-Off
Facing a person or uncomfortable situation sometimes seems harder to do than the Godly thing. What I mean is that, in that moment it’s “easier” to rebel against God because He’s not physically here in the same way that people are. That bully at school or that intimidating person at work or home seems a lot more real then God at times! Also our time of facing God is a long way off (or so we assume). God is not as present in the same way so the earthly confrontation appears harder in the moment.
Here’s an example that we may run into. Say you’re part of a group that’s going out to see a movie. One movie comes up for selection but is a movie that is ungodly. Do you voice your opinion or do you stay quiet? Maybe some others in the group are “louder” than you. Sometimes there is a dynamic in a group of friends that one person somehow ‘leads’ the group much of the time. The others just follow along. They’re wishy-washy which is how the other person gets to have the control. Control is basically given to him or her. The other people may not necessarily want to give control to that person. But they don’t want to be the “problem person’ in the group. Again, voicing their opinion seems harder to do in the moment than not. But while doing that they’re probably ignoring that still small voice. Is that you? Maybe you didn’t even realize what they were doing or the full implications of it until just now.

Friends, we must think beyond this moment. I think this is just a temporary moment of weakness. But again, accept the fact that sometimes we’re going to have “uncomfortable” moments. Also, we may actually (but unintentionally) make others feel uncomfortable, not by anything we do but by something we won’t do.
That’s OK. That’s part of the walk. It means we’re growing closer to our heavenly Father.


3-Peer pressure (this is not reserved just for children and teenagers)
Here are some phrases we hear probably every day. “It’s no big deal”, “Everybody does it.” “Live a little”. These are just a few of the over used phrases that people just throw out when they want you to go along with what they want. Notice the word they want. Sometimes we don’t even want to do whatever it is, but if everyone else is doing it, it’s only natural to feel pressure. It’s understandable why we sometimes cave sometimes.

But I’d ask you a question. If everyone else is truly doing it, are these really the people you should be with? I’m not saying you run for the hills & never speak to these people again! But start to seek others who are walking more with the Lord. That’s how we do it. Again, there is no magic formula but there are things we can start to do to lesson our opportunities to feel peer pressure. And finding some good people to be with is a great way.

4- We want to “belong”, be accepted.

It’s a basic human need. And there’s nothing wrong with it, as long as we keep it in perspective. We can strive to be accepted but only if it doesn’t compromise our walk with Jesus.
Here’s a seemingly innocent example of how wanting to belong can trip us up. Perhaps there’s a TV show that you hear people you know talking about. You’ve never seen it. But one night you’re flicking your remote and see it on. So you watch for a bit. You realize that its content is not something that supports your walk with Christ. (It’s probably an HBO show) You’re about to turn it off but then a voice says, ‘watch it because people will be talking about it tomorrow and you won’t be left out of the conversation if you watch it tonight.’ So you do. The next thing you know you’re watching it for months, sometimes years. All the while getting so many un-Christ-like messages in your head from this show. If it is network television with commercials, then even the commercials you see during this program are going to be more in line with the show’s content. If it’s a movie channel, all the plugs for their different shows will be about shows that coincide with the one you’re watching.
Friends, let’s not confuse being accepted with our overall desire to follow and be with the Lord. And remember one thing: it is written:

“As it is, you do not belong to the world….” (John 15:19)

So don’t worry about “belonging” all the time. You already belong to God Almighty! Reminding yourself of this will save you a lot of internal struggle.



5-We get caught up in a moment.

Emotions can get the best of us at any moment’s time. Especially since the current culture we live in does almost everything predicated on emotion or how we feel, usually in that one moment. We’re constantly berated with messages of ‘get it now’, ‘why wait?’, ‘if it feels good, do it’, ‘if it’s not hurting anyone, why not?’ These are all excuses to do whatever we want, whenever we want to, which usually stems from acting on emotion in the moment. People on TV and in the movies do things in an instant. They jump into bed in record time, quit their job without a second thought. And of course there are never any negative consequences that they incur. Everything works out beautifully in their lives. Yes, it usually does in TV or movie-land. But there’s absolutely no message of pause or restraint nowadays. And that’s how we can get caught up acting on emotion in a moment of weakness.
But friends, when we have this in the forefront of our mind we will be better at fighting the enemy in that moment and the moments that follow. Remember we may not be able to loosen his grip on the world but we can certainly loosen his grip on our lives. Let’s not live by emotion. Especially emotion in the moment.


6-The world we live in-LIES, LIES and MORE LIES

This world, this country, and especially this culture is getting less and less Christ-like everyday. I think we all know that but gang; it’s going to continue to get worse. I’m not being negative. I just want you to understand this so we can spend our time more in God’s word and furthermore with God’s people. The more Satan gets a grip on this world the more we have to remember this because the world will not remind us anymore. It used to be that current culture held to a certain level of responsibility and dignity. But those days are no more. In fact the current culture actually rejects that notion because they wrongly see it as someone judging them. (Wait until they get to the real judgment).

Now even our basic right of freedom is warped. The thinking is ‘If I want to do ‘x’ I should be allowed to it, and even our constitution should uphold it. But if I don’t like what you’re doing or saying, you shouldn’t do it or say it around me, and our constitution should uphold that too. Is that what the founding fathers had in mind when they made freedom of speech???? In the immortal words of Charlie Brown “Uggh!”

This is just another misconception of our world thanks to Satan. His lies are reaching
people like never before. People are listening to him and we must be aware of this fact. Understand he has one goal, to destroy the world and us. He’ll do whatever it takes to do that. Understand something friends. He is not called the “father of lies” because he sometimes lies. He always lies. Everything out of his mouth a lie. He is not even capable of telling the truth. It is written:

“When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”(John 8:45)

We must wake up from this vegetated state that we’ve been in. That alone will bring you closer to Jesus. It will lesson the enemy’s grip, maybe not on this world, but at least on you. And once you are out of his grip you can begin helping others!


Remember that first quote about the flesh and the spirit being opposed to each other? Here’s something that I often think about. Do you realize that the word LIVE spelled backwards is EVIL? And the word DEVIL backwards is LIVED? I wonder, is that a coincidence? Or maybe God has done this to remind us that we should not live for this world because this world has evils in it. Of course this world has many good things as well but at the very least we need to remember this.

Now the word DOG spelled backwards is GOD. I don’t think this is a new notion but let’s look closer at it. When we think of a dog, tell me what would you say is the number one word we think of? Probably the first thing we think of is loyal. Dogs are loyal to the day’s end, aren’t they? If you’ve ever had a dog you know they follow you around sometimes from room to room;they just want to be with you. Every time you walk in the door it’s a celebration whether you’ve been gone an hour or a whole day! They’re also forgiving. You’re 100% accepted to a dog. They are known for protecting both their masters and their homes, sometimes with fierce aggression. It’s literally part of their genetic make-up. And of course the dog’s most identifiable description: “Man’s best friend.” The dog it seems was made to just love us unconditionally. Is that a coincidence? I wonder. I think God has a sense of humor, don’t you?!

But how do some people treat their dogs? There are many cases of dog abuse and abandoned dogs are found daily. Sometimes they are even malnourished & in poor health. When we read or see stories of dog abuse or neglect, it’s actually hard to watch, most of the time we have to look away. Part of the reason is because the dog’s owner has a certain power of their dog. The dog relies on him or her to walk it, feed it and provide shelter for it. Unfortunately, not all dog owners do that. Because as much as the dog loves their owner, it doesn’t mean they’ll be loved back. That’s kind of the way some people treat God isn’t it? That power that the owner has over the dog is like our free will. God doesn’t make us worship or praise or follow him. What we do with that free will is tantamount to how we treat God isn’t it? Just something to think about….


7-Lead us not into temptation.

Another reason why it’s hard to walk the walk sometimes is because we don’t always pay attention to that still small voice. There are times that we’re stronger than other times. And it’s not really our job to know when that is exactly. But it is our responsibility to avoid a situation that could even lead us into temptation let alone saying no to it.

Consider the Lord’s Prayer. It says:
“Lead us not into temptation”

Another popular prayer is the Prayer of Jabez which says:
“And that you would keep me from evil.”

Notice this doesn’t say let me go to evil & then resist it. It doesn’t say let me allow evil to come to me and then resist it. It says essentially: don’t even bring me to evil, keep me away from it. We humans have a knack of walking toward evil even bringing ourselves face to face with it and then if we’re not able to resist it we feel badly about ourselves.

Guess what? God knew this. That’s why He says throughout the bible don’t even go there. Avoid it altogether! God knew we were human & that it would be very hard for us to resist. Remember that He made us. He knows what our strengths and weaknesses are because He put them there. Let’s listen to his instructions for our bodies! That’s why He says don’t even put yourself it evil’s ugly face! We don’t have to look temptation square in the eye every time because we simply aren’t strong enough to resist all the time. Of course there are times that you are going to be faced with it anyway. But we also need to do our part here.

If anyone is in any kind of recovery program, you know they tell you when you’re in recovery to not hang out at the places that you did either drugs or drinking or over-eating in whatever your addiction was. If you’re an alcoholic, avoid bars or even restaurants with big bar areas. They even warn you to stay away from friends that you did your addiction with. This is sound advice & I’ll bet the vast majority of people that are in successful recovery can attest to this wise way to stay on the good path. This is no different gang. Sure sometimes we can be strong enough to resist temptation but many times we can choose not even to face it. Does that mean we’re weak? Of course not. Friends, it means we’re being obedient


These are just a few of the ways that lead us down a path away from the Lord. When faced with these things and our humanness, it is hard to walk the walk at times.

But take heart, because it doesn’t have to be that way! Now that you know these, you’ll be armed to recognize them & change them. Gang, this is one of the most liberating things we can do for ourselves. It seems hard on the surface but if I can do it anyone can! Yes, we’re flesh & the flesh is weak. But don’t ever forget that we are created in God’s image. Jesus Christ is in us! Our flesh is weak but our spirit is powerful! Jesus said if we have faith not only can we do the things that he did but we can do more! It’s time to start trusting that this is true and living that way on a daily basis. Not just on the big things but all these little things that we’ve talked about above.


But how do we break out of this?

Well it’s not a big production, not a “systematic program” or even a crash course on obedience. Just the opposite. The answer is ‘one’. One day at a time. One decision at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.

If you overeat, it’s one meal at a time.
If you suffer verbal abuse from your spouse or family, it’s one snide remark at a time.
If you have problems at work with a person or project, it’s one encounter or one step at a time.
If you deal with confusion or indecisiveness like I did (and still do sometimes!) it’s one choice at a time.
If you’re raising children it’s literally one moment at a time.

You see the trend. It’s just taking each thing on, one at a time, and not worrying about the next time or situation.

But what happens if you don’t know what to do during one of those times?
If you get stuck, don’t ever say out loud or even just in your head “I can’t do this” or “I can’t do this anymore.” (remember #6-the enemy’s lies?) Replace it with “Can I do or handle this one thing right now? Usually your brain will answer “yes”. Then you say “OK. Lord, how do you want me to handle this? Ask the Lord right then and there and be open to any answer that comes to you as long as you know it is coming from the Lord. And then trust and do it. Act or handle it in a way that shows and testifies that you are a child of God. Because you are. That’s where you overcome. That’s where the rubber meets the road as they say. That’s where the power and strength comes to you that you didn’t know you had. You didn’t have it as long as you lived in the flesh. But in that moment you surrendered your flesh & let God give you His answer. That’s when your Spirit gets stronger and starts to awaken in you the power that God gave us and that Jesus gave His life for.

Then, after that moment, don’t start worrying about the next time(s). Don’t even give it a thought. If you start thinking or projecting about the future then enemy will get some ground in your mind. He’ll plant some seeds that we cannot let take root. That’s part of trusting God. He got you through this tough moment by leaning on Him. He’ll get you through the others. He’ll get you through any fire or storm that life throws at you. You need to trust him 1000%. Friends, he’s money in the bank. He’s your only “lock” in life as the betters’ say. And what a great thing to have a loving heavenly powerful Father as your lock!


Here are some comebacks that I pray will help you when offered something you know you don’t want to have or don’t want to do. They are just some simple things to say when you don’t know what to say in those moments. It is my prayer that they help you to turn a possible moment of weakness into a moment of victory and success! Amen!

Question: Would you like some “x”?

1-No, thank you. (no need to even explain yourself)
2-Thank you, no. (again, unless someone asks you further that’s all you need to say)
3-No thank, I’m satisfied. (it’s hard for someone to push you after you state that)
4-I don’t care for that (anymore) (once you say that it doesn’t make sense for the person to ask you again if you don’t like something)
5-I don’t feel like it right now (that should go over fine in our culture!)
6-If people are gossiping or badmouthing others & someone asks you for your opinion just say: I don’t really know that person or that situation 100% so I really couldn’t say.
(even if you do know the situation very well you can still say: I’m not that person so I couldn’t really say. Leave it at that; don’t say another word)
7-Sing a song of praise or hum a hymn even if it’s only in your head; try to really think about the words. This will give you instant inner strength and resolve!
8-Say a quote from the bible that can get you through the moment-either aloud or to yourself. Every time Christ was tempted in the desert He answered with “It is written …”. It worked for him!
9-No thanks, I have a headache/stomach ache/don’t feel well/am tired/don’t have the time/have to go. (this answers the question and gets you off the hook)
10-No thanks, I don’t have much interest in that (anymore). (it’s hard for someone to keep pushing something on you when you give an answer like this)
11-That’s not my cup of tea (anymore) (same as above)
12-I don’t care for that. Then turn it around and ask them a question about it for example: You (still) like that? But it must be in a gracious non-condemning way. (all your doing here is basically changing the subject; taking the pressure off of you)
13-Offer some friendly, Christ-like advice that’s non-condemning. You never know; this may literally be the first time that that person is hearing something like this. You have a chance to help bring them to change! To bring them a step towards Jesus!!!
14-Don’t even give them an answer. Just ask them a question; again making certain it is in a kind way; gentle, friendly earnest advice.
15-Pretend you didn’t hear them. Don’t even answer; just change the subject.
16-Pretend you didn’t hear them! Say nothing. They literally may not ask again.
17-Say a quick no thank you & then immediately change the subject. Asking a question to them is an excellent tool because it literally takes their mind away from the topic too. Have a question in mind. It doesn’t have to be anything important. It could be simple like: “Is it cold out?” Or “Where did you get that sweater?” (or fill in the blank with anything) or “What time is the game on tonight or what time is X happening? “ Or even simply “What time is it?”
I know these may sound silly or too simple but try them a few times & you’ll be amazed how easily they work!

Good luck & God Bless
TO HIM BE THE GLORY!